Downfall
by wendysdarling
Summary: "He - and I could say this without a breath of hesitation - was something else entirely." Alec Lightwood x Magnus Bane. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: Everything but the actual words written below belongs to Cassandra Clare. **

**(a/n): Set before the events in "Kissed", which is a short Magnus x Alec story Cassandra Clare published on her website a while ago. I wrote this as an audition for a Mortal Instruments RPG on tumblr and though I would post it here as well, haha. :) Enjoy! **

**Downfall**

It's not as if I didn't _attempt_ to ignore it. Ignore _him_. I did.

It began as a nagging sensation in my abdomen every time our eyes met, blue meshing into the endless pools that were his irises. It was an agonizing fluttering inside of me that reminded me of things that I shouldn't be feeling at all. In that moment, the usual fear overcame me again and I helplessly allowed it inside. What would my parents say? What would everyone else say? It wasn't something that was easily accepted amongst Shadowhunters, as the need for offspring was far too crucial. I tried to put it all aside, but it proved to be very difficult to do so. I was a _Lightwood_, for crying out loud. I, being the eldest male of the family, was expected to elongate our family line sometime in the future. Whether I liked it or not.

_You're gay, Alec_. _Fucking deal with it._ The words rang in my head as I paced the dark hardwood floor of my bedroom. I had long since accepted my...predicament. The rush of emotion that had originally been associated with watching Jace as he flipped, ran and fought with an unnerving ease when we trained, even for a Shadowhunter, was something I hadn't expected to feel again. It wasn't supposed to return like this, fevered and renewed in an unanticipated manner that burned in my veins. Not after acknowledging the fact that Jace would always and forever be my brother. My _parabatai_. In the end, I knew that I was only using him to guard myself.

I now understood what it was exactly that I had been guarding myself _from_.

Magnus Bane was truly something else. Lean and powerful, his every move mesmerizingly graceful. I allowed myself to fall, face first into my neatly made bed, burying my head in the navy pillows. His entrancing cat-like eyes, gold-green in colour, was the most prominent memory in my head as I thought back to the long hours he had endured beside me, healing and watching me as I struggled against the poison that had filled my insides. He had saved my life.

He - and I could say this without a breath of hesitation - was something else entirely.

I groaned, sitting up again as I raked a hand through my hair. _What the _hell_ are you doing?_

I abruptly remembered his fingers, careful and gentle against my skin as he murmured inaudible words under his breath. If I closed my eyes, I could sense just _where_ those long fingers had travelled, their healing touch roaming my weakened body. I immediately flushed at the thought, quickly shutting it away.

The sensations had been one of the clearer memories of the night, another wave of gratefulness kissing down my spine. He himself had been a sharp figure against the muddled, poison-laced visions crossing my eyes, contrasting brightly against the pain.

_Then again_, the corner of my mouth lifted slightly, _when was Magnus anything but bright?_ It was difficult to even try to ignore him, whoever you were, what with his spiky glitter-filled hair and bizarrely intriguing choice of clothes. Maybe what I was feeling wasn't such a big deal at all.

I coloured as I thought of Izzy's earlier words, "_He's a warlock. A sexy, sexy warlock_."

It was decided, then. I jumped to my feet, determination beginning to settle in my stomach. Nervous tingles rose on the skin of my arms as I walked over to the door, one hand placing itself on the doorknob. My fingers froze with hesitation for a moment, locking around the cool brass. I sucked in a deep breath and gathered all the courage I still had within me.

"I should go thank him," I nodded, reassuring myself. "Thanking him...that - that sounds good."

* * *

><p><strong>(an): I'm still not sure how I feel about this short little one-shot, so...do review and tell me what you thought! :)  
>-K. <strong>


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